Sebastian

I came to you
But don’t know why

And you looked
At me that way

I held you in
Accepting arms
And you
Melted

I talked to you
You shared your secrets
Already knowing
Mine.

And when I left
You cried and cried

And a part of my heart
Was broken.

Nothing

Loving you means…

Lifting you up
Not dragging you down

It means showing you the light
Not living in the dark

Trepidation
Fear
Uncertainty

It’s all I have to offer

I think some days
We could be perfect

Forever real
Neverending

You stand before me
Like a mirror

And make me wonder
Who I am

And your sweet kiss
Awakens my soul

And your eyes
Pierce my heart
Like Cupid

Is it okay
That we are fumbled?

A jumbled mess
Forever lost?

Can we find the way
Together?
Or shall we be separately
Hidden?

I lay down and think of you
How I wish you were here

I know too much
About me and you

But pretend I know

Nothing.

imperfect

It’s funny how
far away
you can get
from yourself

so much so that
you are
unrecognizable
in the mirror

you let them
mold you
into what
they want
you to be

let them tell
you who
you are

and you go
along

maybe because
you’re tired
maybe because
you’re insecure

maybe because
they stopped
looking at
you

and then one
Saturday
someone stops
it all

pushes pause
on the movie
of your
life

stops you
looks at you
and says
yes, this will do

I always knew
I was special
always knew
I was beautiful

never knew
anyone really
noticed

and to know you
see this in me
lets me know
there’s so much
in you

real and raw
it feels so
right

to be
imperfect
in your arms.

lover's afternoon

there’s a pool of sweat
between your heart
and mine
remnants from
the love me made
and the lawn mower
buzzes
outside the window
yet the world is so
far away
the dog barks
and steals the peace
of a lover’s afternoon
and the clock ticks
the minutes away
soon the world
will be closer
but now the rain
begins to fall
hushing the dogs and
the gardeners
so we retreat
back to the peace
the world can wait

for tomorrow.

My Guardian Angel

She had an air about her
Some mystery unknown
And everyone wanted to
Touch her
But no one could reach her

She stood so high above
Us all
And we loved her
Like no one could love her
I, most of all

And we secretly
Wondered
What it would be like
To hold her close
Safe from harm
To be the one to save her
From whatever it was
She was running from

And I swear, one time
Our eyes met
And for a moment
The moment was real
Infinite, Eternal
But then it was gone

I long to return someday
To that moment in time
When all the world stood
Quiet and still
And she was the only one

Who Existed.

Ani

If I could, I’d say it like Ani
Bold and cold with force
No fears
Look you in the eye
No tears
But I am too timid
I am too shy
I am still too weak
I cry
For someone to hold me
For someone to mold me
Into something I want to be
Because I can’t remember who I am
And the cold wind slaps my face
As I try to run this race
But I fall behind every time
I can see the finish line
But I can’t reach it
You have to help me
I can’t help myself
I want to scream
Forget the dream
When you and I were together
In love that lasts forever
That was bullshit
I stop and sit
I refuse to run anymore
What would Ani do
when colors fade away?
I can hear her turn and say
Get your ass up girl
The world ain’t black and white
But a 1,000 shades of grey
And you ain’t giving up
You are going all the way
‘Cause all you got is yourself
And the dreams that wake you
Let your own feet take you
And she’d be right
I stand and fight
The wind, the rain
This haunting pain
In my feet, how sweet

To cross the finish line.

The me and you of it...

painting by Kazuya Akimoto



This is the me
and the you
of it

An entanglement
of souls
haphazardly
making our
way through
a fucked up
world

This is the truth
and the heart
of it

The feeling that
you are
alone and
misunderstood
left yourself
in a deep black
hole

This is the strange
and the bizarre
of it

That life keeps
presenting
it’s mystery
keeps you guessing
the rules of the
game

It can be what you want
it to be
It can be what you need
it to be

But only once
to examining eyes
can it ever be
exactly
what it is.